Harvey: I want to watch you kill this guy. That’s why I brought snacks.
Mike: You can’t bring peanuts into my deposition.
Mike: It’s unprofessional.
Harvey: So is that tie, but I’ve made my peace with it.
Mike: Louis knows.
Harvey: Louis knows what?
Mike: My dirty little secret.
Harvey: You’re Canadian?
Louis: If you were a narcissist with great hair, what would your password be?
Mike [about Louis]: He’s like the captain of mixed metaphors.
Harvey: There can be only one.
Jessica: We’re at a funeral and you’re quoting Highlander?
Ray: You are so beautiful when you’re forceful.
Donna: I know you meant that as a compliment, but I don’t appreciate limitations being placed on my beauty.
Dana: You really are a dick.
Louis: I’m Moby goddamn dick, and you just swam in my waters.
Rachel: The new opposing counsel is my dad.
Mike: Your dad is Robert?
Rachel: Is it so hard to believe that my father’s black?
Mike: Robert is black?
Rachel: You think this is a year round tan?
Louis: Hey, Simon, come on in. I have a question for you. Come on, you need to see this. Look at this. This is so funny.
[Holds a report up to his face]
Louis: Is that some sort of joke? Nominal in the first paragraph, pagination on the left-hand side, Times New Roman’s stupid little feet walking all across the page. And what’s that word?
Louis: Mmm. At this firm, we instruct, we advise, we order, we must, but we do not ‘shall.’
Simon: That’s not really a …
Louis: Why must we “must“?
Simon: Because we thrust, we don’t parry.
Louis: It’s just so weird to see him in my old office, you know? It’s like when you drive by the house you grew up in, and there’s another family in there, and all you want to do is break in and make yourself soup. You know that feeling?
Donna: Well, it depends on the soup.
Louis [Scoffs]: Mushroom barley.
Donna: Then no.
Harvey: I’m inclined to give you a shot, but what if I decide to go another way?
Mike: I’d say that’s fair. Sometimes I like to hang out with people who aren’t that bright, you know, just to see how the other half lives.