Smartphone Woes

Now that I have been back with the program for a while, here are the 6 things that tick me off the most:

  1. Samsung and Google Apps. Mostly hipster crap- and/or bloatware.
  2. Hipster Bullshit. The most annoying thing is that many app “designers” and programmers, including many so-called professionals, change their apps fundamentally whenever they damn well please. One day the app is blue and works fine, the next day it is orange … with most menu items or basic functionality (re)moved and the font color changed to light grey. If it looks “nice“, who cares if it works or not? That’s hipster bullshit.
  3. Permissions Extravaganza. Why, for example, a simple note-taking app that allows you to write a few lines of text and nothing else needs to have access to every single piece of info on my phone is beyond me.
  4. Inconsistency. Much like in the early MS Windows days, Android apps do it whichever way they like. Press and hold or just press? Swipe right or swipe left? Menu right, left, top or bottom? If it is movable or changeable, Android designers and programmers will have done things differently. Every single time. More hipster bullshit.
  5. Material Nothingness. When Google came up with their material design guidelines, I was happy because a lot of them made sense to me. What some designers have turned those guidelines into is nothing but mindless bling. They think if it wiggles, slides and has white space, it must be material design. Think again.
  6. Back to Basics. When fundamental updates reach your phone, it would be nice to be told that without a factory reset, you will have nothing but a lagging brick to work with. “Lollipop” worked fine only after I (and a million others) reset their phones and started over.

Posted by Volkher Hofmann

Volkher Hofmann (deus62) has been blogging on and off since the 1990s and deus62.com is all that is left. He loves music, literature, drumming and, most of all, real life. He thinks the open web is much more important than social networks, closed-in ecosystems and other severely commercialized online endeavors.

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